Step 1: Read the signals Before initiating any kind of move, look for body language clues such as prolonged eye contact to help you work out whether you’ll get a positive response. A woman may be more willing than usual to expose certain areas of her body like her neck or wrists. She may touch you, or display self-grooming gestures. A man may exhibit more animalistic signals or ownership gestures, to impress a potential mate. These may include resting an arm on the back of her chair, puffing out his chest or widening his shoulders. Both sexes may engage in ‘mirroring’, which is subconsciously copying the actions of the other person’s body positions.

Step 2: Conversation If they find someone attractive, men and women won’t necessarily say what they’re really thinking. Instead of listening to what is being said, concentrate on how it is being said. If he says; ‘I’m interested in art’. He may mean I am interested in you” If she says; ‘What’s your favourite surrealist painting?’ She may mean; ‘Are you genuinely interested?’ If he says; ‘I love Dali’s The Persistence of Memory’. He may mean; ‘I’m trying really hard here because you’re hot’. If she says; ‘I’ve got that on my bedroom wall’. She may mean; ‘I want you to see it’.

Step 3: If the woman is making the first move The male form is majestic, enticing and readily available. Approach with free abandon and curious hands. Be a predator. Remove any unnecessary items of clothing. The only potential problem that could arise will occur when choosing topics of conversation. Don’t mention ex-boyfriends, health problems, or your imminent desire for babies.

Step 4: If the man is making the first move The female form is mysterious, enticing and notoriously difficult to get hold of. Approach with caution. Certain parts of the body should not be touched initially, like the breasts or bum. Instead, try lightly touching less intimate areas of the body – such as the upper arm, or the outer leg nearest to you.

Step 5: The kiss If they haven’t rejected your advances so far, then you can start to feel more confident about stealing a kiss. For specific tips on kissing, watch ‘How to kiss someone passionately’. It takes guts to go for a kiss, and if you are feeling out of your comfort zone, try to relax, as lack of confidence is rarely attractive to the opposite sex. Maintain eye contact, lean in and pause when your faces are close but not touching, to allow the other person space to escape or, hopefully, lean in too.

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This was not what I expected to hear! I explained to her that while I wasn’t feeling any “fireworks”, I was enjoying our time together. I didn’t try to sugarcoat how I felt. This, along with my genuine shock at her statement, regained her willingness to talk. My date explained that she wasn’t angry with me but with herself and even agreed that she didn’t see our relationship moving beyond friendship. Regardless, she said, she was still upset with herself for “messing up” even if it was a relationship she wasn’t interested in! She never did explain what I did to make her feel this way. Looking back, I can see that I wasn’t fully committing myself to the conversation and she picked up on it.

With all the pressure to succeed gone, we spent the rest of the evening talking about online dating in general. We each discussed the struggles we were experiencing in depth. It was this date that opened my eyes to the fact that a woman has to struggle with very different problems than a man does. She described the worthless spam emails, the times where she would never hear anything from a man again even though the first date seemed to go wonderfully, the random creepy communication, and the amount of email she had to deal with. Just understanding these things made me feel much better about my own dating struggles (my lack of email responses in particular).

So…What’s Your Point?
I tell this story because it is important to realize that things are not always as they appear. A date that is going poorly is not necessarily going downhill for the reason you think it is. When my date became angry, I assumed it was because I wasn’t what she hoped for. I never expected her to suggest that I wasn’t interested in her! Also, just because a date appears to be going badly doesn’t mean you should run to the restroom so you can crawl out the window (although there are times where this is warranted). While this date did not lead to anything greater in-and-of-itself, it did change how I communicated online (it played a major role in forming the opinions I lay out in First Contact). This in turn eventually led me to meet my wife. With that in mind, I would encourage you to be willing to step out of “interview mode” and be open to really talking to the person across from you – even knowing that you may never see them again. You never know what can come from something as simple as being friendly.

Responding to a Withdrawn Date
Here are a few thoughts on responding to this type of situation:

• Avoid giving the appearance of being uninterested. In my story above, I did something to suggest to my date I was bored. Try to avoid my mistake by showing interest in your date. Even if you’re not interested in dating them in the future, it’s not as if ignoring them is going to move things along any better!

• Avoid risky topics or at least tread lightly over them. Your date may have a very good reason to be distant if you cause them to feel uncomfortable.

• Be open and honest. Most people are pretty good at picking up on when they’re being lied to. The fact that I didn’t try to pretend to be more interested than was true saved the evening.

It is natural for someone to withdraw if they believe they are going to be rejected. However, this is not the only reason a person might become withdrawn, or in extreme cases angry, on a date. I will discuss another situation in the near future where my date’s anger was entirely out of my control!

* Begin a regime of looking your best. Get fit and start a diet, get your new hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. You will feel a billion times more confident about your self.

* Go shopping and buy a new clothes and even whole new look. Get your image right. One that you can manage and live with but one that flatters you. Someone (people) appreciate appearance wherever you are.

* Do you think yourself married within 2 years? If you think do you then approach dating accordingly and prepare for yourself. To think/plan what your dating goals and timescales. Ask yourself in honest questions about why you are dating with and what you hope to achieve when you don’t take dating seriously.

* Sort out your confidence level to advance. You will feel better and be focused. Think always positive to boost your confidence.

* Be realistic when dating someone. Choose those you a good chance of dating, do aim realistically. Just show your personality or what you are and who you are. If you are looking for a glamor girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you.

* Meet people in neighborhood and join societies, clubs, sports events, drama group, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. I mean a kind of person you are looking for. Aside from social groups, you will not meet pople by staying indoors.

* Dating is the activity of looking for a suitable partner for an intimate, sexual relationship. The word refers to two daters agreeing on a time and date when they can meet and engage in some activity, thereby assessing their suitability for one another. Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well.

* Enjoy dating for what it is. Dating, it is meeting people to have more confidence to show anywhere physically, emotionally and spiritually; socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.